DIARY OF AN ADDICT - Episode 106

Me: Would you mind rice
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Deola: Rice and what? Mr. Femi, I am full already. You know I am just coming from a party
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Me: I don’t care. A bite won’t make you vomit, will it? Besides, you are in my house, you should eat something. Remember: my house, my rules

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Deola: My God! Why are you this incessant? Ok ok. Bring it ooo before you tear me down
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Me: Good. You can do the same when I come visiting…if you will invite
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Deola: Trust me I will invite you. In fact, I will feed you with bowls of rice and a cooler of chicken
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Me: No problem. It’s gonna be: your house, your rules
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I went back to the kitchen to go fetch the food from the microwave. I served her the food witha chilled Chivita Juice to wash* the food down her throat. I watched as she forced herself to eat the little food infront of her. After the meal, I wanted to clean the table but she didn’t allow me
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Deola: No Mr. I am a well-trained yoruba girl. Let me clean the table myself, that’s my duty as a woman
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Me: But this is my house, my rule stays
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Deola: I insist. But if you deny me this, consider my coming here today to be the first and final time!
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Me: Haba? Is it up to that? Ok, you can clean the table
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She dropped the plate in the zinc and attempted to wash it immediately. When I contested the idea, she said
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Deola: Mr. Femi. Don’t make me believe what I am thinking right now
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Me: And what will that be?
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Deola: I am thinking that you are a woman since you have been contesting a woman’s duty with me all day
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Me: Jesus! Me a woman? Haba! Ok. Wash all you want. In fact, I can go to my neighbours to collect all their dirty plates if any, so that you, “a woman” can do your job
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Deola: I wouldn’t mind
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I refrained blocking her desire to watch the plates. When she was done, and everywhere neat as it should, she looked me in the eye and smiled. We headed back to the sitting and started gisting. We talked about almost everything there is to talk about. When we got to the relationship stuffs, I was very cautious, smart, but bold
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Me: So tell me, how many relationships have you been into?
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Deola: 3, and you?

Me: Ermmmm,
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TO BE CONT